New year, same Jessa

2020 was, without doubt, the definition of the unexpected. The world was on fire, revolution was happening, the circus of politics seemed more theatrical than ever. And as if this wasn’t enough to set 2020 in the history books as the most memorable year of an entire generation, we then had one of the worst pandemics our planet has seen. Quarantine, lockdowns, antibodies, RNA, DNA, zoonotic disease, SARS—CoV-2 - the list of words previously so unused in our day to day lives became some of the most used and familiar in the span of one month.

I can certainly say my experience of the coronavirus pandemic has run the gamut of circumstances. From the anxiety of the first lockdown here in London, easing into it with peaceful summer days and the smell of hot banana bread baking in the oven, all the way to lockdown 3.0, making firmly sure to ruin Christmas as thoroughly as possible, just in case we all forgot just how much our new friend covid-19 calls the shots in these times. So yeah, it’s been a rollercoaster to say the very least.

I write this now in January 2021, and after a long Christmas and New Year break, have had a lot of time for contemplation. Firstly, I’ve contemplated gratitude a lot. Gratitude for technology, for Zoom and Skype and FaceTime, and the bridges that can now be built across entire oceans through the marvel of these pesky little screens we so often complain about. Secondly, I’ve contemplated balance. With my usually hectic schedule, in which I’m rushed off my feet and rarely see my home, I suddenly existed within these four walls - day in, day out. The cabin fever has at times been unbearable, but the greater picture? Its firmly reaffirmed to me just how grateful I am for my home, just as much as how much I am intensely grateful for my life being so full, with so much to do. Thirdly, lastly but not in the least whatsoever, I’ve contemplated travel. Something I feel I almost took for granted pre corona. Travel is my lifeblood. It’s the thing that sets my soul on fire, holidays and work engagements and the melding of the two are the things every month I obsess about the most, the things I ruminate over towards the point of fetishising airplanes. Nearly. With the aching sadness of having to cancel and reschedule my already planned trips has definitely also come a realisation that where I am in life is exactly where I should be. Meeting minds with people who hold all of the same values as I do.

2020 was a year of extremes, in many senses. This global process of grief both for the lives lost and the loss of the normality we all so relied on has pushed so many lives to the edge. So, where do we go in 2021? Where I stand currently is in a place of defiant humility, if there is such a thing. Defiance in the face of adversity, humility in the face of a virus that has reminded me more than anything just how little I control. Just last week I stepped out of my home, walked 20 seconds across the street into my local park, and amongst the trees and ponds and dogs I was administered a covid-19 test in a salient bright white tent. I walked home. Later that day, I received a text that read ‘negative’. The ease at which it is possible now to learn my health status brings such comfort, and maintaining and making new connections digitally brings such joy. I feel in so many ways that 2021 may be similar to 2020 - a year that nobody could have expected, but that brought us closer in ways we never could have fathomed. With both Oxford and Pfizer vaccines on the horizon for all citizens of the United Kingdom, I am at last filled with optimism and hope that 2021 will differ from 2020 in at least one way: the end of the coronavirus dictating our freedom. Happy new year to all of you, wherever you are in the world! It feels so good to be back.