Elevating the Discourse: Sexuality Does Not Have to Be Cheap or Classless

Something that has been on my mind as of late, is the idea of sexuality, class and how these two notions inform the general publics (or as we might affectionally refer to them, ‘civilians’) opinion of sex workers sexuality. While sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human identity, it is persistently othered as taboo. Recent times have seen a rise in the acceptance of sex positivity and empowerment narratives when it comes to female sexuality. Now, this is an area that I have somewhat of an expertise in (I’m sure you’re shocked to hear this…)

Unfortunately, societal norms and media portrayals often reduce sexuality to cheap thrills or classless exhibitions. With the unique perspective that I’ve gained in my life as a professional companion, I’ve come to believe that sexuality can be profound, meaningful, and deeply personal, transcending the superficial narratives that surround it.

In a world saturated with hypersexualised imagery and commodified representations of intimacy, it's easy to lose sight of the richness and complexity of human sexuality. From advertising to entertainment, the portrayal of sex often prioritises shock value and sensationalism over genuine understanding and respect for individual experiences. It is often a surprise to some ‘civilians’ to learn that plenty of sex workers advertise fully clothed, or that their thoughts and opinions are just as vital in attracting clients as their nudes are. And let me be clear here - I love, and utilise, the exquisite art of the nude selfie. In no way is one approach to marketing more valid, here. I am merely attempting to shed light on the general ignorance most people have when it comes to considering the full, or closer to full, picture of professional companionships relationship to sexuality.

I see one of the key issues with the portrayal of sexuality in mainstream culture as being its tendency to objectify and dehumanise individuals. Women, in particular, are often reduced to mere objects of desire, valued primarily for their physical attributes and ability to fulfil male fantasies. This perpetuates harmful stereotypes and reinforces power dynamics that undermine the autonomy and agency of individuals. It creates an environment where individuals feel pressured to conform to narrow ideals of attractiveness and desirability, often at the expense of their mental and emotional well-being. The argument that feminists have made for decades still stands. And yet, this argument tends to write-out entirely the perspectives of sex workers: for we are viewed under this lens as the ultimate crystallisation of sexist male fantasy, of unrealistic and manufactured sex-for-sale.

Now, this is where people will identify me as a hypocrite. How can one, in the business of ‘selling’ sexuality, purport to resent the reduction of sex into something marketable? The thing is, this argument stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of professional companionship, its depths, and its complexity. Much as within straight forward commoditisation, arguments again that commoditisation also reduce discourses around female sexuality to simplistic, narrow terms that do not full capture the delicate exchanges of power, and empowerment, that occur between companion and client.

Sexuality encompasses a diverse range of experiences and expressions, each deserving of respect and validation. Unfortunately, the moment that professional companionship enters the conversation, all nuance in how we understand this expression of sexuality leaves the room. True sexual empowerment lies not in conforming to external expectations or societal norms but in embracing one's authentic desires, boundaries, and experiences. For so many companions and client alike, this is where we can embrace truth - often, for the first time in our lives. Whether this complexity manifests as women being able to own their arousal at being objectified (within their own terms, under total consent), or whether it manifests as women being able to explore non-monogamy and an unbridled love of intimacy, closeness and yes, sex - professional companionship has empowered many to truly own their desires.

This is where companionship thrives as its own unique world, for companions but also for clients. In order to reclaim the narrative around sexuality, we must create spaces where individuals feel safe to explore and express their sexuality free from judgment or exploitation. For some men and women, they have never been offered this supportive, safe environment in which they can get in touch with their truest selves. This has always struck me as a terrible shame, something that can only be resolved through better sex education, less stigma around sexuality and through greater acceptance of travelling the less wandered paths in life.

Ultimately, the journey towards reclaiming the dignity and authenticity of sexuality requires a collective effort to challenge ingrained biases, dismantle harmful stereotypes, and promote a culture of respect and consent. These values are, now, offered to some women in society. But there is much work to be done in how we value and take seriously the experience of women who choose to follow the path of professional companionship. This is true of our societal judgements, too, of the men (and women) who utilise the services, or enter on journeys of self discovery with, professional companions. By elevating the discourse surrounding sexuality, we can move towards a more inclusive, compassionate, and empowering understanding of human intimacy—one that celebrates the beauty and complexity of our shared humanity.